It Takes Two
by siriusblackatemybaby
Summary: What do you get when you get Sirius Black, Severus Snape and a potion that decreases their ages to 5? Remus Lupin WILL go mad.
1. Shrinkage

It Begins  
  
"Really, Black, you can't perform a simple incantation. Your wand might as well be shoved up your-"  
  
"Yeah, well, your hair's greasy."  
  
"What a ridiculous, overused comeback. Can't you come up with something a little better?"  
  
Sirius paused for a moment, then replied, "Yes. Let's see...you have a huge nose that you stick into business that is not your own, you're bitter and infuriating, if anything, *you're* the one with the wand stuck up your arse . . . wait, wait. We can't be too sure of that one. It might be too tight-"  
  
"Oh really..." Severus heaved a heavy sigh of annoyance.  
  
"No, no, Snivelus, I'm not done yet." Sirius looked the ceiling and stroked his smooth chin thoughtfully. "You're a slimy Death Eater who has nothing better to do than torment my godson because of the former childish antics of his father and myself. You make potions. Potions! Of all forms of magic, those have GOT to be the most BORING. Oh yeah, you're BORING." Severus opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius continued, "No, NO, Snivelus. I'm not done yet. Almost, though. And this last one is the most important of all . . ."  
  
". . ."  
  
". . . your hair's greasy." Feeling proud of himself, Sirius tucked his wand into his robes and looked at his rival as if to say, 'What now?'  
  
Severus rolled his eyes and returned his gaze to his cauldron where he just happened to be brewing an Aging Potion. Potions boring indeed. He'd show childish Black boring. He'd turn Black into a child! It was rash decision made by a very angry, bitter man, but Snape couldn't help but find the humor in his idea as he "accidently" knocked the cauldron in Sirius's direction, allowing its contents to soak his opponent.  
  
"What the-?"  
  
In quick retaliation, the other wizard knocked the cauldron back in the Potion Masters's direction.  
  
It took about 3 minutes for the potion to take effect, but the result was two very confused, unclothed 5 year olds blinking at eachother.  
  
"Where are we?" Severus asked. He cuddled closer to the mass of adult robes that surrounded him. It was cold and dark in this strange place, and they weren't wearing anything. "Sirius?"  
  
"I don't know," Sirius replied after a while. "Where's Teddykins?" He looked around for Teddykins, his stuffed bear, but he was nowhere to be seen. Then his eyes rested on his companion. "What have you done with him? When we find someone, I'm telling!"  
  
"I didn't touch your damned Teddykins!" Severus snapped.  
  
"Oh! You said a naughty word!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"What the-"  
  
Both boys looked up to see a thoroughly befuddled man with a youthful face, but slowly graying hair. Remus Lupin had realized that his loveable pet dog had skulked off to harass Severus quite some time ago, but only now had he decided to come make sure that the two weren't killing eachother. Unfortunately he hadn't counted on something like *this* happening.  
  
He blinked.  
  
The two small children blinked back.  
  
"Severus? Sirius?"  
  
"Yes?" they chirped.  
  
"Do you know who I am?"  
  
"Moony!" Sirius giggled. "Moony! Moony! MOONY!" He cocked his head back and made a horrible impression of a howling wolf at the ceiling. Remus cringed, but smiled as the boy rushed forward and hugged his leg.  
  
"That's right, Sirius. I'm Moony," he said gently, ruffling the little boy's hair. Sirius tugged on his pant leg. "What?"  
  
"Carry me!" Sirius gave him a toothy grin, outstretching his arms eagerly. Remus obliged, shifting this extremely small version of his best friend against his side, so the small head could rest comfortably against his chest. He then focused on Severus, who stood shyly by.  
  
"Severus, do you know who I am?"  
  
"Remie," the black-haired boy said quietly.  
  
Remus smiled warmly and offered his free hand to the small child. "Lets get you two into some clothes and take a trip to Professor Dumbledore's office. Then we can get something to eat."  
  
Severus looked doubtfully at the hand at first before taking it. Remus squeezed comfortingly, and eventually, Severus found himself cuddling to the older man's pant leg.  
  
"Good," Remus beamed. "Let us go." 


	2. Peeing on Slides

Chapter Two  
  
"Slug Crunchies."  
  
The gargoyle moved. Remus sighed as he pulled the two now-clothed children along with him to the entrance of the headmaster's office. Clothes had been a difficult task to execute. Severus was alright, really. The 5-year-old had mainly dressed himself and been quiet about it. His only problem had been getting the shirt on the right way. Sirius, however, had been a royal pain in the arse. He howled and screamed and kicked and cried. More of a 3- year-old, really. Remus wondered if it were a possibility that Sirius's mental age had suffered more than his physical, but shook the thought. Sirius acted like 10-year-old at the age of 35, so it must have been normal.  
  
"Albus?"  
  
The old headmaster was sitting at his sparsely-littered desk, looking pensively out the window where the sun was setting in a brilliance of pinks and oranges. His wrinkled hand moved its way thoughtfully through his long, white beard. The soft glow of a dying candle reflected in his half-moon spectacles beneath which his normally twinkling blue eyes had grown serious.  
  
"Yes, Remus?" Albus looked too deep in thought to actually glance in the younger wizard's direction, so Remus shuffled his feet a little, unsure of how to tell the old headmaster that his Potions Master and an ex-convict had been changed into 5-year-olds most likely due to a childish scuffle.  
  
"Er...well, sir, some incidents took place," Remus said. "Some people were harmed in the process."  
  
"Harmed, Remus?"  
  
"Well, sir, you see...by harmed I mean de-aged." Remus cleared his throat. "And these people were Severus Snape and Sirius Black."  
  
Albus Dumbledore choked.  
  
"Headmaster, are you okay?"  
  
"Huh? Yes, yes, Remus, I'm fine. Now what was that about Severus and Sirius again?"  
  
"They're 5 years old, sir."  
  
Another choke.  
  
"5 years old, you say?"  
  
"Yes, sir." Albus Dumbledore wheezed. "Are you sure-?"  
  
"Positive, Remus. I am just fine." Refreshed twinkling eyes searched the werewolf. "Where are they?"  
  
"They're right he-" Remus stopped abruptly, dread creeping up his spine and raising hairs on the back of his neck. The two little boys had disappeared right under his nose! "Uh oh."  
  
***  
  
"Shhh..." Sirius placed a finger to his lips. "C'mon. I bet this place has lots an' lots of great hiding spots!"  
  
Severus looked around nervously. The hallways were vacant and old. The portraits kept their eyes on the two small intruders. Every once and a while, a ghost would even come across them, leaving him feeling like he'd just swallowed a million ice cubes. He knew they weren't supposed to be here.  
  
"I don't think we're s'posed to be out here. We could get into trouble." Severus whispered. "We were s'posed to stay with Remie."  
  
"Don't be such a git, Sevie," Sirius elbowed his companion. "Moony won't care. He's *Moony*. He *wants* us to do this."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Because he's *Moony*," Sirius repeated, as if that explained everything.  
  
Severus followed the other boy, although he was thoroughly disconcerted by the reason they were allowed to do this was because Remie was Moony and that's the only reasoning they had.  
  
Because he's Moony, he inwardly mocked Sirius. Idiot...  
  
They journeyed through the halls until their little legs got tired and their little eyes began to droop. Just as they sat down to rest, the most terrifying thing happened.  
  
Hundreds of feet must have poured into the once abandoned halls at that moment. Hundred of feet that belonged to other children. Bigger children. Children that could EAT them.  
  
"Sirius! Let's get out of here! They're going to eat us!" Severus hissed, pulling his comrade to his feet and attempting to dodge the legs that threatened to knock them over.  
  
"What? Are you loony? They're not going to eat us, you prat!" Sirius exclaimed. "They're just big kids, that's all. Big kids don't eat little kids. They just boss them around and knock them off the bars at the playground, that's all. Sometimes, they also have a pee on the slides."  
  
"What do you mean they have a pee on the slides!?" Severus yelped. "On the slides? I slide down those slides!"  
  
Sirius shrugged. "It's not that big a deal. It makes it stickier, sure. Sometimes it makes it smell bad. But the rain washes all that away. What you really have to watch out for is the fort."  
  
"The fort?"  
  
"Yeah," Sirius said, pulling Severus into an empty classroom. "This one time, James Potter and I walked into a fort and we found something absolutely foul."  
  
Severus prompted him with wide, curious eyes. When Sirius didn't continue, he demanded, "What was it?"  
  
"It was this slimy balloon filled with watery cream," Sirius confided. "We're not sure what exactly they were doing, but we think they were having a war and decided to throw cream-filled balloons at eachother as weapons. That's way more foul than just water. If that stuff got in *my* hair, I'd scream until my Mummy's ears bled."  
  
"There you are!"  
  
Severus and Sirius practically jumped out of their skins. A strict-looking woman had entered the room, a relieved of expression on her face. The two boys were horrified.  
  
"Remus has been looking all over for you!" she said.  
  
"Moony?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Remie?" Severus piped in.  
  
"Indeed," the woman nodded sagely, extending her hands. "I'm Minerva. If you'll come with me, I'll take you to Remus."  
  
"Minnie!" Sirius chirped happily, taking the woman's hand. Severus looked at the other outstretched hand doubtfully.  
  
"Oh, honestly, Severus. Even when you're a child. Come on now," she said, taking the boy's hand irritably. They found Remus in trophy, searching behind and in each of the gleaming trophies. Minerva noted that Fred and George Weasely must have recently had a detention.  
  
"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed, dashing forward and lunging into the man's arms.  
  
"Sirius?" Remus sighed in relief. "Where'd you go?"  
  
"Around! Lots of big kids came out of the rooms and Sevie was afraid they'd eat us!" the boy giggled. "It was funny. You should have been there."  
  
"Oh?" Remus raised an eyebrow, then picked the boy up. "Sirius, we don't go running off through the castle without supervision."  
  
"Shut up, Moony. You know how this town works."  
  
"Sirius, I'm *serious*. No running through the castle. I was very worried and I don't want you to it again. Severus, that goes for you, too."  
  
Severus had stepped forward and was now tightly clinging to Remus's leg. "Remie?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Do you hate us now?"  
  
"No, Severus, I don't hate you."  
  
"Okay, good." Severus paused. "Remie?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Do big kids really pee on the slides?"  
  
Behind them, Albus Dumbledore choked.  
  
********  
  
Hey. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You guys are AWESOME.  
  
Lily C: it's gonna work out that way...kinda. =) hope yeh like it.  
  
And everyone else, wow....you guys rock this hizzy. I 3 you. Review more, cause I like you. 


	3. Remie! Moony! Wha?

Chapter Three  
  
The trio - Remus, Sirius, and Severus - had congregated back in Remus's apartment.  
  
"You idiot!"  
  
"You prat!"  
  
"Stupid!"  
  
"Greasy bastard!"  
  
"ENOUGH."  
  
Remus had had about all he was going to take. They had been screaming insults at eachother since they had been found. He wasn't exaggerating either, they truly were *screaming*. At the top of their lungs. Remus had clenched his fists in a death grip, turning his already pale knuckles a bony white. He had bitten his tongue until it was on the verge of bleeding. He just couldn't tolerate this anymore.  
  
"Remie?" Severus asked innocently. "Are you angry with us?"  
  
Remus looked down at the small, quiet child and sighed. He didn't want to make Severus upset. He knew that he had had a horrific childhood.  
  
"Yes," the werewolf grumbled. "I want both of you to play the quiet game until supper."  
  
"What's the quiet game, Moony?" Sirius asked, grinning.  
  
Remus wanted to throttle him. It was as if he had NO idea that he was on the verge of throwing things. Calm down, Mr. Wolfie, calm down. it's okay.  
  
"The quiet game is when you don't talk. Whoever talks first, loses. Whoever wins, gets a sweet." Remus said, forcing his voice to be calm.  
  
Sirius snorted. "Bullshit, Moony. Sweets aren't worth not talking."  
  
"Sirius, don't say naughty words. Severus, would you like a chocolate frog?"  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"You talk, you lose," Severus interjected, before sticking his tongue out at the other child. "And yes, Remie, I would like a chocolate frog, thank you." Remus looked down at the black-haired boy, amused.  
  
"Well, aren't we posh?" He walked into the kitchen and pulled out a chocolate frog that just happened to be in one of the cabinets. Smiling, he handed it to Severus, and ruffled the boy's hair.  
  
Sirius burst into tears. "Moony likes Greasy Sevie better than me!"  
  
Merlin . . . Remus wanted to kick himself. He wanted to kick himself for having agreed to this, for letting Padfoot escape his presence earlier that day. He wanted to kick Severus for making the damn potion. Rar!  
  
"Siri, shh. That's not true," Remus managed a comforting smile, picking the child up and setting him on the lap. "You know that's not true. I don't favor -"  
  
"You're s'posed to like me better!" Sirius cut him off. "You're s'posed to! You're Moony! You're Moony and I'm Sirius and HE'S A GREASY GIT!"  
  
Remus had to stop himself from gaping as the boy released a painful wail, followed by heart-wrenching sobs. Remus's tattered robes were the sorry victims that soaked in all of the tears and snot.  
  
"Oh, Sirius." the werewolf murmured, hugging the boy closer and rubbing his back. "I think someone needs a nap."  
  
"I'm not greasy," little Severus finally choked. Remus snapped his head up startled. In Sirius's outburst, he'd completely forgotten.  
  
"Oh, Severus, of course you're no-"  
  
But the child ran into one of the bedrooms, slamming one of the doors behind him. Remus, the weary mother he had become, had no idea what to do. At that point, all he knew was that his best friend was 5 years old, his archenemy was also 5 years old and both were wailing at the top of their lungs.  
  
Now, where did that silver bullet run off to?  
  
***  
  
"Okay, you two," Remus said, lifting each boy onto the couch. He took out a handkerchief and dabbed at their red-rimmed eyes. "We're going to the Great Hall. I'm going to warn you that the big kids will stare. The girls, and you would appreciate this if you were a little older, will talk about how absolutely adorable you are. I don't want any fighting, swearing, or wandering off. If there is any, there *will* be punishment."  
  
Both boys gulped visibly. Wow. This disciplining thing *did* have reason behind it.  
  
"Understood?"  
  
"Yes, Remie," Severus said quickly, nodding his head.  
  
Remus inwardly cringed. Poor Severus.  
  
"I guess, Moony," Sirius groaned.  
  
Remus grinned. Oh, Sirius.  
  
"Alright, off we go then."  
  
As he led Sirius and Severus into the Great Hall, he could practically hear the collective turning of heads. With this inaudible sound, he felt his robes being grabbed as two boys simultaneously hid behind him.  
  
"It's okay, boys," Remus stopped and knelt down to their heights. "They aren't going to hurt you."  
  
"They're going to EAT us!" Severus squeaked, clambering into Remus's robes and hugging the werewolf's leg tightly. Remus chuckled.  
  
"Sevie, they're not going to eat you."  
  
"They're going to pee on the slides, though!" Sirius chirped, sneaking into Remus's robes as well. He looked at the terrified Severus and whispered so Remus couldn't hear, "They might even pee on *you*."  
  
Severus stifled a scream.  
  
"Okay, you two. Come on out of there," Remus said gently, raising his robes and gently pushing the boys out of their newfound sanctuary. He frowned. Severus was trembling and looked rather pale. "Severus, are you feeling ill?"  
  
"N-no," the boy stuttered. "I'm hungry."  
  
At last they reached the head table, where the faculty ate. Dumbledore got to his feet and announced to the students the mishap that had occurred with their * beloved * Potions Master (a round of cheers ensued) and an unknown innocent victim.  
  
"Sirius, eat your potatoes. . . vegetables first, Severus, and THEN you can have your pudding. . . Sirius, there is NO throwing of broccoli at the table." Remus sounded like a tired parent.  
  
While their keeper was busy feeding himself, Sirius nudged Severus. He leaned in very close to his companion and whispered something unheard by the rest of the table.  
  
"Let's go explore."  
  
***  
  
You guys rock the socks with the reviewing! Gimme more! 


	4. And then Ron Weasley was Very Happy Inde...

Chapter Four  
  
Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger exchanged dumbfounded glances. Had Dumbledore *really* just said that Greasy Old Snape had been hit with a de-aging potion?  
  
Ron was the first to break into a broad grin. Harry, of course, quickly followed. Hermione groaned, afraid that they would insensitively humiliate her by getting onto the Gryffindor table and partaking in a dance of celebration. She didn't much care for Snape, but she *certainly* didn't want to get behind in Potions.  
  
"Brilliant! I've waited for this day ever since we started at Hogwarts," Ron practically sang. "Let's go into his dungeons and have a whack all over his ingredients."  
  
Hermione covered her ears. She really hadn't wanted to think about Ron doing that . . .  
  
"Ron!" Harry looked baffled.  
  
"Oh honestly, Harry. It's not that hard. I found a picture of Cho Chang to help-"  
  
"RON!"  
  
"Wha-?"  
  
Hermione shook her head, her hands now clenched *very* tightly over her ears. There was nothing more disconcerting than hearing her best friends since first year talking about . . . well . . . choking the chicken?  
  
"Who do you think the innocent victim was?" Harry asked.  
  
"Dunno. Couldn't have been a student. Everyone seems accounted for," Ron shrugged. "What does it matter? We're FREE!"  
  
"RON!" Hermione snapped. "The man's not dead. He's *de-aged*."  
  
But nothing could wipe the smile off of Ron's face. "What's the difference?" he brushed her argument off cheerfully. "Dead? 5 years old? They both lack the power to torment us!"  
  
Beneath the table, something brushed past Hermione's leg. Hermione glared at Neville Longbottom, who was innocently shoving shepherds pie into his mouth across the table. When his eyes met hers, they grew wide in fear. He ducked his head, blushing.  
  
Just as she had thought. The forgetful boy was playing footsie. Ridiculous.  
  
She felt something tug at her robes.  
  
"Neville," she spat. "Please stop that."  
  
Neville choked on mashed potato, not meeting her gaze.  
  
She felt the hem of her robes raise, soft skin caressed her bare leg.  
  
"NEVILLE!" She shoved her chair away from the table, only to find that it had not been Neville's foot but an extremely small boy with blue eyes and long black hair.  
  
She blinked.  
  
The boy blinked back.  
  
This wasn't Severus Snape. This was Sirius Black.  
  
"Erm . . . Harry?"  
  
***  
  
"Oh god."  
  
Remus Lupin, Moony, Werewolf, whatever you wished to call him, wanted to bash his skull into the table until he fell unconscious. Again, he had lost them. They had escaped his line of sight for the SECOND time that day. What was this feeling? The soft boil of rage at the pit of the stomach; his teeth grinding irritably, sometimes pinching his tongue; the sudden hot flow of blood to his fingers . . .  
  
A glass broke. Oops.  
  
"Remus?" the headmaster looked at him curiously.  
  
"Sorry, headmaster. They're gone again and I . . . well, I'm feeling rather murderous."  
  
Remus got to his feet and walked towards the students.  
  
***  
  
"Sirius?" Harry whispered into the little boy's ear. "Is that you?"  
  
Sirius nodded, outstretching his arms to be lifted. Harry obliged, settling Sirius into his lap, though feeling a little confused as his godfather was sitting on him. The confusion heightened when the boy cuddled closer.  
  
"Sirius," Hermione whispered. "Where's Snape?"  
  
"You mean Sevie?" Sirius yawned, resting his head against Harry's shoulder. "I don't know. He was afraid you would eat him."  
  
"Maybe we should . . ." Ron trailed off thoughtfully.  
  
Sirius gasped in horror. "Big kids really eat little kids? He wasn't just being daft?" He began to struggle against Harry, who clung tightly.  
  
"We're NOT going to eat you."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Promise," Harry nodded. "Now . . . do you know who we are?"  
  
Sirius looked sleepily at Ron and Hermione, then up at Harry. "You're Harry. She's 'Mione. He's Ronnie." He closed his eyes. "And I'm tired."  
  
"I see you've found your godfather."  
  
Harry swivelled his head around quickly to see that the quiet voice belonged to Professor Lupin. Relieved, he nodded. "He got away from you?"  
  
"You don't know the half of it," Lupin muttered. "Where's Severus?"  
  
"Erm . . . Sirius said that he was afraid that we'd eat him."  
  
"Oh, Lord . . ." He nudged the little boy gently. "Sirius, where's Severus?"  
  
"I don't know," came the sleepy reply.  
  
"SIRIUS."  
  
"Moony, go away and stop being weird."  
  
Ron snorted. "My thoughts exactly . . ." His smile faded when their beloved Professor Lupin shot him a deadly glare.  
  
"Sirius, I *need* to know where Severus is."  
  
"Maybe he's havin' a bath," Sirius mumbled. "No wait . . . *I* wouldn't even want a bath. Why would Sevie? He's greasy-"  
  
"Sirius." Remus cut him off.  
  
"He left."  
  
"Left?"  
  
"Yeah. He was scared that the big kids would pee on him."  
  
Ron and Harry stifled their laughter. Hermione looked horrified.  
  
"Sirius, where would Severus get an idea like that?" Remus asked, lowering his head to be face-to-face with his childhood friend.  
  
Sirius cracked a tired grin. "Me."  
  
Another glass broke. Oops.  
  
"You?"  
  
"Me."  
  
"And . . . you think this is okay?"  
  
"It is okay. You're Moony."  
  
"And you don't feel the least bit bad that Severus is truly frightened right now?"  
  
"Uh uh."  
  
"Sirius?"  
  
"What do you want now, Moony? I'm tired."  
  
"It's not okay."  
  
***  
  
Severus was lost. After leaving the Great Hall, he'd gone up a series of staircases (one of them moved!), through a few doors, down a lot of hallways . . .  
  
The portraits kept talking to him. He had reached one of a rotund woman that he found comforting. She was nice.  
  
"Do you know the password, dear?" she asked kindly. He shook his head. "Well, why don't you just sit and rest? You look right tired." Severus did just that. Maybe Remie would find him in the morning.  
  
***  
  
*hugs the reviewers* 33 


	5. Findings and Apologies

A/N: Whoa…THIS has taken a long time. I'm in a weird mood and its Spring Break so I think that you deserve of an update of IT TAKES TWO. dun dun dun It Takes Two 

**Chapter Five – Findings and Apologies**

********

"Don't be such an idiot, Ron!" Hermione scolded for the millionth time in…eternity. Sometimes she felt that she would be dead in thought if it weren't for Ron's stupidity – if she had nothing else to think about, she could always think about how Ron was an idiot. If she had nothing else to say, she could always reprimand Ron for being an idiot. Chances were, Ron was always up to something _idiotic_ or thinking something _idiotic_, so why not nitpick? "At this moment, Professor Snape is a poor, defenseless little boy who is most likely scared and alone. How would _you_ feel if _you_ were five-years-old in a huge school with a lot of bigger kids and demented people like _Filch_ around?"

"I'd deal," Ron said, pompously puffing out his chest. 

"You'd _cry_," Harry muttered. Argus Filch was enough to make anyone cry.

The Gryffindor Trio had been searching the hallways of Hogwarts fruitlessly for the past fifteen minutes for their missing Potions Master. Remus had taken Sirius in the opposite direction, saying that he wanted Severus found before supper was over. Having been heavily scolded, Sirius looked less than happy and even more reluctant to aid in the search for Severus. He just couldn't believe that MOONY had scolded him. Moony!

Hermione, Harry, and Ron found what they had been looking for in front of the Fat Lady.

"Merlin only knows what led the little Slytherin git to Gryffindor Tower," Ron mumbled, eyeing the sleeping child with nothing short of abhorrence. 

"Shut it, Ron," Harry said sourly.

"'Ay! What's up _your_ bum?" 

"He's just a kid -there's no need to be hostile. Furthermore, if _your_ godfather was a five-year-old, you'd be in a foul mood, too." 

"He's so cute," Hermione cooed, kneeling down next to the shrunken Potions professor. She laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and shook lightly. "Professor, wake up. Severus-" A pair of black eyes popped open in surprise and the terrified squeak stopped Hermione in her tracks.

The boy scooted against the wall, as far away from the three older children as he could get.

"It's okay, Sevie," Hermione said warmly. "I'm not going to hurt you. We're going to get you back to Remus."

"Remie?" the boy asked, his face turning from frightened to hopeful.

"That's right," Hermione smiled.

Severus continued to look at her distrustfully, however, and continued to move farther away the nearer she dared to come. 

"How do I know you're not lying?" he asked. "How do I know you're not going to **eat **me?"

Ron snorted.

"I don't like the taste of little boys," Hermione responded, unfazed.

"What about them?" Severus looked pointedly at Harry and Ron.

"I think you're a little too rich for _my_ blood," Harry smirked.

"I wouldn't know how to cook you properly," Ron shrugged.

Severus allowed Hermione to gain a step closer.

"How do I know you won't _pee_ on me?" he asked, remembering Sirius's earlier words.

"Well, now. That's just _sick_," Ron spat distastefully.

"Why would you think that, Severus?" Hermione asked.

"Sirius," Severus replied simply.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Sirius is full of-"

"Harry! He's FIVE. You can't swear around someone who's FIVE," Hermione admonished, before turning back to the little boy. "Severus, Remus is really worried about you. Will you please let me take you to him? I promise we won't eat you _or _pee on you."

Severus scrutinized the three of them for a few moments before slowly nodding and getting to his feet.

"Erm…will you carry me?" he asked Hermione shyly. 

"Of course I will," the girl responded warmly, plucking the child into her arms. "You're such an adorable little boy."

"Thank you," Severus blushed, burying his head into her shoulder bashfully. "Sirius says I'm greasy."

"Sirius is an idiot," Hermione told him. "Just like Ron." Hermione lived by one rule: when all else fails, call Ron an idiot.

"Shut up, Mione." Ron lived by one rule, too: when bored, fight with Hermione.

"Pack it in, both of you," Harry grumbled. Harry just hated everyone.

***

They found Remus and Sirius in the dungeon, searching every possible hiding spot in the Potions classroom. More accurately, _Remus_ was searching every possible hiding spot in the Potions classroom. Sirius had chosen to sit on the floor and sulk. 

"We found him," Hermione announced upon entering the room, Severus in her arms and Harry and Ron at her heels. Remus rushed over, and looking very relieved, snatched Severus out of the girl's arms and smothered him in a hug.

"Thank Merlin, you're alright! I was so worried," he whispered. He looked to the three teenagers. "Where did you find him?"

"Ironically enough, outside of Gryffindor Tower," Harry said.

"He was sleeping. He's very exhausted," Hermione added. 

"…stupid little Slyther-oomph!" Ron cleared his throat, rubbing his ribs where Harry had elbowed him. "I mean, make sure you don't eat him," he suggested awkwardly. "He's afraid of that. And don't pee on him, either…cause that's just sick."

Remus raised an eyebrow, but chose not to comment. Instead, he focused on Severus.

"Severus, what did I say about wandering off?" he growled.

"That we shouldn't…" Severus whispered, burying his head into the side of Remus's neck. "I'm sorry, Remie. I was really scared and Sirius wanted to explore and I just –" but Severus couldn't get any farther before bursting into tears. Remus rubbed his back.

"Thanks, you three. 20 points each to Gryffindor."

The three students nodded and smiled. Hermione kissed the back of Severus's head, causing Ron to shudder, and whispered words of comfort into the boy's ear before they took their leave.

"You hate me, Remie?" Severus asked.

"No, Sev, of course not," Remus reassured him softly, settling down on the floor next to Sirius. "Sirius has something to say to you." The older man pried the Potions Master from his body to set him in his lap. Severus looked to his shrunken rival expectantly.

"No, I don't," Sirius pouted stubbornly.  

"What did we discuss, Sirius?" Remus asked. 

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Remus asked. "I was _sure_ it was something…" Sirius shook his head. "Sirius!"

Sirius trembled. Moony had used his scary voice. MOONY!

"I'm sorry, Sevie. I shouldn't have told you all of those things about big kids and I shouldn't have made you explore with me," Sirius mumbled, scuffing his shoe against the dungeon floor. "I was in the wrong."

Severus's eyes widened. "It's 'kay…" he said, stunned by the other boy's apology. Sirius had never apologized to him before. In fact, nobody had ever really apologized to him before. This day was MONUMENTAL. He looked up at Remie, who smiled down at him. Of course, Remie had _made_ Sirius apologize, but that was only because Sirius was too dumb to do anything on his own. 

"Okay, lets go to bed," Remus said, noting Severus's tired eyes. "Today was horrible and tomorrow will probably be worse," he added under his breath, a dark look on his face. He stood up; Severus still planted carefully in his arms and grabbed Sirius's hand.

"I'm not tired," Sirius whined.

It was the wrong thing to say – Remus whirled around and growled, "I will MAKE you tired."

It was so positively scary, that Sirius could do nothing but wet his pants.

***

A/N – well, since it's been so long, I hope SOMEONE will review. To that SOMEONE that does – I love you in advance. 3


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